A Letter to my Sixteen Year Old Self

Dear me at sixteen,
I know you are feeling miserable and have no idea why but its not you but an illness called depression. No-one recognises that teenagers can get it, they all think you are a moody difficult young person. But you’re not, you’re actually quite ill. I’d recommend you see a doctor but that would be a waste of time as the doctors don’t recognise it either. What I will advise you is not to make any big decisions like what you’re going to do/be for the rest of your life. You really do have time on your side though I know you can’t see it. You think – and probably because of your teachers and parents are putting pressure on you to make a decision – that you really have to decide now but you don’t and anyway you can always change your mind. Whatever you do decide now is no more than a stepping stone and there’ll be many many more of those over the years. Stop being so afraid of everything, it really will all work out in time and time is something you have a lot of. Opportunities will arise. Take your time. You’re not happy in school so leave, get a job, you can always take up your education later on when you’re ready. You’re not ready now that’s a fact. You’re too unwell to make any lifelong decision, get a job that will give you something to do and some money to live on and then just take it all one day at a time. Don’t pin yourself down with anything, you’re too young and far from ready for anything like that. Yes, life at home is miserable right now but none of it is your fault. Your dad, he’s ill too with the depression, he can’t help the way he is any more than you can. Get out as much as you can, have as much fun as you can.
I know your mother wasn’t the most tactful person when you came home with your ‘o’ level results saying you could have done better. We both know that it was a miracle you did as well as you did. Don’t blame her though, she’s just inherently tactless and is also totally unaware of it. Look at the things that are going well for you and at the talents you do have. You have grandparents who are always pleased to see you, you can sew beautifully oh and so much more. Never mind about that lot at school, once you leave you’ll never see them again.
Remember you were born on a Thursday and Thursdays child has far to go. you may not think it now but the possibility of seeing the world is there so keep that dream of travel there and be ready.
Love from Me much later in life.